Breathe Again
by fremionesame
Summary: Fred has been growing closer to Hermoine since she saved his life at the battle. But he doesn't want her to suffer because of him, he will do anything to make the dreams go away. rated M for language and just in case!


**This is my first Fremione fan fiction.**

 **Obviously I don't own these glorious characters, I just play with them!**  
 **Please leave a review :)**

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Hermione's eyes flung open and she winced, instantly assaulted by the bright sun shining through the dusty windows of the burrow. She wiped her eyes and half sat up, leaning on an elbow. Ginny's bed was empty. Never in her time at the burrow had Ginny been awake before her. She sat up properly now and tried to remember her dream. This was another strange thing about the morning, normally it was her dreams that woke her, covered in a light sheen of sweat, biting back an urge to call out or scream. Night after night she would have the same or similar nightmare. She didn't reach him in time or that she saved him still but he was killed by a curse just seconds later, looking into his eyes as his soul slipped away behind them no matter how alive in life he was, in her dreams Fred Weasley always died.

It was embarrassing for her living at the burrow, once the battle was over and she had managed to process all the loss and destruction it had left behind and they had mourned her and Ron had an awfully face reddening conversation following their brief kiss in the chamber of secrets. Ron had sought her out a few months after the battle, although she was staying at the Burrow, they had managed to avoid being along together. She was sat in her bed, reading when she felt the mattress dip under the weight of another person. She pulled her eyes up from her book to find a sheepish looking Ron looking back at her.  
"Hermione, I want to talk to you," he didn't stumble on his words and there was no hesitation in his voice.  
"Of course, go ahead," she smiled at him.  
"I have a whole speech rehearsed and planned so please let me get it all out before you ask any questions," she laughed slightly but nodded. He sighed and straightened himself up a little.  
"I know we got close over that year of searching for horcruxes and at the time I felt like I needed you with me, I needed you because I loved you, I know it sounds daft because I left but I really did feel that way. Then we kissed and I knew. I knew the need to be with you and my love for you wasn't my own, it was everyone else's expectation of what we should be, then you saved Fred and I can never repay you for keeping my family together and keeping George a whole instead of a half but...," he paused for a second trying to gauge her reaction to what has been said so far. Her face was passive but interested.  
"I just don't feel for you what I thought I did. I'm sorry hermi-," he stopped as she launched forward and wrapped him in a hug.  
"Umm. Hermione? Are you okay?" She chuckled and pulled back. He was delighted to see there were no tears and she was smiling.  
"Merlin yes I'm okay you prat. I was dreading this conversation but now I know you feel the same. I'm sorry Ron I love you but you're my best friend. I wanted to be a part of yours and Harry's lives forever and wanted to be part of this family so much I think I understand what you mean about outside pressures. I was my own pressure. I thought this is the road I should take even thought my heart wasn't really in it." They smiled at each other and started laughing. They laughed for some time.

"Who helped you write your speech?" She asked teasingly.  
"Oi! I'll have you know I'm very good with words!," her eyebrow raised in disbelief.  
"Oh alright, if you must know it was Ginny. That is an embarrassing conversation to have with your sister let me tell you. She's been teasing me for days about actually having feelings." They chuckled some more before both getting up and going downstairs together. Hermione smiled at the memory. Then there had been the fact that she had saved Fred's life at the final battle. Molly and Arthur had been hugging her constantly since their return to burrow and she thought George might actually have agreed to become her personal slave.

Fred had asked for her upon waking in St Mungos having ensured his family he was going to be okay and instantly thanked her. They had talked all night until Fred, still weak had fallen asleep had she realised everyone but George had returned the burrow much earlier. Since then he had not made a big fuss of her saving him. Maybe because his family were going over board or he could see how uncomfortable it had made her. She was grateful. He did however spend more time with her, they talked a lot and he had made an effort to include her in anything he was doing. She was pulled out of her thoughts by a tap on the window from an owl she recognised as being Fred's. She got up quickly and opened the window where the owl flew in gracefully and dropped the letter on her pillow. It landed on her shoulder nuzzling into her neck for a second before flying away. She loved Fred's owl, Hero, he was the most affectionate one she had come across. She reached for the letter and opened it.

 _Hermione,_

 _How are you? Did you sleep well? Me and George are coming to the Burrow later for dinner and I need to talk to you. So don't be alarmed if I steal you for a while._

 _See you later,_

 _Fred (the handsome one)_

She had chuckled at his ending but apprehension rose in her stomach. They wandered off to chat all the time but nothing that had ever required a pre-warning before. She put the note on her bedside table and started to get dressed for the day.

As she was tying her hair up in a high pony tail, Ginny entered the room.  
"Good afternoon miss granger," Hermione was still.  
"Afternoon?"  
"Yes, it's almost 1pm,"  
"Oh no! I never sleep pass 8am what is wrong with me!" Ginny gawped at her.  
"Hermione, you clearly needed it, you've looked exhausted lately and today you are glowing. It's amazing what a bit of sleep can do, don't stress about it," Hermione breathed out slowly, she was right, of course.  
"But Fred and George have just arrived, they weren't going to be here for another few hours but it's Sunday, the shop is closed and the suns out, so we're gonna play quidditch, you wanna come outside with us and read?" The Weasleys had long since given up on asking her if she wanted to play Quidditch with them. She nodded.  
"I'll be down in five minutes." She finished sorting her hair out and grabbed her favourite book. Practically skipping through the house she saw Harry and Ron talking at the bottom of the stairs.

"It's just not like her Ron, I'm worried," Harry's face was hardened.  
"Jesus Harry, the girl has a lie in and you want to send her off to St Mungos, just chill out," Hermione got the bottom of the stairs where they jumped, not having noticed it was her who was descending. She grinned at them broadly.  
"Come on, outside," she wrapped both arms around each of the back of the boys necks and pulled them with her towards the garden.  
"You've got some Quidditch to play,"

They both seemed to deflate with an ease of tension and allowed themselves to be pulled outside.

Charlie Weasley had surprised everyone yesterday by arriving home for a week long visit to the burrow. Mrs Weasley had almost dropped the potato she was brandishing at George for a comment he made about Ron when her second eldest stepped out of the fireplace. In Weasley fashion, there was to be a large dinner prepared for them all tonight. Bill wasn't able to make it till later so they were only left with Charlie, Fred, George, Ginny, Ron and Harry. How you could play Quidditch with teams of three Hermione would never know but they managed it. Weaving in and out of each other, arguing about the scores. When they all came back down to the ground they were thoroughly windswept and darkness was just starting to creep up on the bright blue sky. George's hair looked as though he had put his finger in a plug socket and his twin was laughing at it mercilessly.

Walking back into the Burrow Hermione gravitated towards Mrs Weasley.  
"Can I help with dinner? I know there will be a lot of people here?" The older witch smiled at her. "No thank you dear, I do need some help setting up the tables outside, it's such a lovely night I think outside is best." She then turned looking at the rest of her children.  
"Harry and Ron dears, can you just pop down and feed the chickens for me? And Fred can you help Hermione set up the tables and decorate outside please?" She delegated her tasks easily and no one complained. Fred followed Hermione outside. He walked only a little way from the house and conjured a large picnic table, large enough to seat all the Weasleys, Harry, Hermione and everyone's respective partners.

Fred grinned, impressed with himself and watched as Hermione conjured a tablecloth, cushions for the hard benches and little lanterns of white light that floated around in the air above them.  
"Very nice, Miss Granger," she smiled at him.  
"Why thank you Mr Weasley," she curtsied.  
"Did you get my owl?" She nodded.  
"Oh Fred your owl is the sweetest thing. He's so lovely." Fred rolled his eyes.  
"He's a tart, gets more action with the ladies than I do," they both chuckled.  
"Should I worry? About what you need to talk about?" She asked, concealing her current panic quite well.  
"Godric, no Hermione," he smiled at her. She nodded that she understood and retreated inside to change for dinner.

Ginny was already dressed for dinner, it was nothing fancy but neither had wanted to eat in their overly casual shorts and t shirt that they had spent the day in. Ginny had changed into a smart, fitted white t shirt and pair of jeans, she was pulling a dark green cardigan over her arm when Hermione came in.

Hermione was ready in 5 minutes. She was wearing comfortable black leggings and a dark red long sleeved top that was actually more like a dress. She'd pulled her hair down, she was starting to get a headache from her previous hair style. It wasn't as bushy as it had been in her younger years, all she really had to do was a simple spell to help with frizz and her hair stayed in a slightly curly, wavy mass.  
"Wow Hermione, you look great," Ginny said, smiling.  
"Do I?" She replied, confused.  
"Yeah, don't worry it's a casual outfit but you just look really pretty." She grinned widely and hugged her best friend.  
"Thank you, that's quite a compliment coming from you," they giggled and heard a cough from the door.

"Are you two quite done marvelling in each other's beauty?" Teased Fred from the doorway.  
"Oh piss off Fred," said Ginny still laughing. "At least I tell Hermione when she looks good instead of ogling her from across the room like the rest of you baboons do." She grinned triumphantly and stomped from the room. Hermione was laughing but tucking her hair nervously behind her ear.

"Don't mind her, we don't ogle you from across the room," he said, having stepped forward, almost subconsciously it seems he took the piece of hair from behind her ear and placed it back where it was.  
"Are you saying that I am not ogle worthy?" She looked hurt and his eyes widened.  
"No! No," he panicked. "I'm not saying no I don't find you ogle worthy I'm saying I don't not find you ogle worthy. You're very ogle worthy, not that I'm saying I ogle you..." He faltered. He had said the word ogle more in the last ten seconds than he had in the whole rest of his life. He felt a blush creeping up his neck onto his cheek and it was made worse by the fact that Hermione was laughing.

"Oh wow, I've never seen such fear in a mans eyes Fred. And I think I deserve an award for making Fred Weasley blush," she wiped a tear from under her eye.  
"Sorry Fred, I was only messing around," she ended as he still looked uncomfortable.  
He took a few steps closer and there was only a few inches between them. She didn't react, but thought it was odd. Then he played with the same piece of hair again.  
"I don't mind you messing around with me Hermione," his voice was low and quiet, "you can make me blush whenever you like," Hermione felt her face sizzle and he chuckled leaning into her ear.  
"Now we're even," she composed herself quickly and rolled her eyes, he grinned at her and held is arm out, she linked hers with his and they made their way downstairs, out into the garden.

They were the last out and Hermione sat between Ginny and Fred, Ginny was watching Harry intently and giving him her undivided attention. Fred was talking to George about God knows what but every few seconds he would look back at Hermione, it seemed, once he had determined she was okay, he would focus his attention back to George. His twin had noticed this but decided not to comment. Once their conversation came to a natural close, George turned his attention to Ron so that Fred would be forced to talk to the girl sitting beside him.

She was sitting, looking quite relaxed, her plate of food almost empty, something he had noticed hasn't happened in a while.  
"Had a good day Mione?" She smiled at him sweetly.  
"Yes," she said, soundly "it's been a great day, best in a while. How about you?" She looked genuinely interested as she shifted slightly, turning her body towards him.  
"Yeah," he half smiled. "I always get happier when summer shows signs of being on the way," Hermione nodded. She had felt the same.

Once the Weasleys and guests had their fill of the wonderful food, Hermione stood to help clear the table.  
"No dear, you helped set up, lovely lanterns by the way," Hermione bowed her head. "You and Fred go relax, the others can help," she grinned warmly towards them and Fred placed his hand in hers. "Was wondering if we could go for that chat now?" He said it quietly. So she simply nodded and allowed him to keep a hold of her hand, leading her away from the rest of his family.  
He came to a halt on the outskirts of the orchard where a twisted oak tree sat. One of its branches swung down low in a U shape, low enough for you to be able to comfortably sit two people in it. So they sat.

"Hermione, did you sleep okay last night?" It was a curious question, or so Hermione thought. And especially as it was one that needed her to be taken quite far away from the burrow.  
"Yes, thank you," she looked puzzled.  
"Okay. I need to tell you something and I hope you don't get mad, at any of us," panic attacked her throat.  
"Ginny told George and I that you were waking up every night because of nightmares. You wake up groaning and crying but you never speak. Until the other night. So I just wanted to help Hermione. So I put some patented daydream charm into your tea before you went to bed. I swear it was just to help you I'm sorry Mione!" He seemed to be more and more worried of her reaction the more she spoke.  
"Well that explains the amazing sleep I had last night, it had been puzzling me how I did it, thank you Fred, it certainly helped." She smiled. She wasn't angry. Normally she would have been furious but it wasn't as a prank and it did help her sleep.  
"You're welcome, but these nightmares. I don't want you having them anymore. Ginny told me that night before last you called out my name," Hermiones cheeks flushed and Fred grabbed her hand.

"Please, just tell me what they are, I don't want you to hate me or be scared of me or something. I don't want to be the cause of you not sleeping." He was genuinely concerned and Hermione softened.  
"Oh Fred, you don't scare me silly. These dreams... I would never ever regret saving you Fred," he squeezed her hand and she squeezed back.  
"But almost every night since the battle I have the same nightmare. That I can't save you. No matter what I do, no matter what I change from my mistakes the night before I can't save you, I've watched you a die a hundred different ways Fred," his eyes widened as she sobbed and tears started falling rapidly down her cheeks.  
"I can't keep watching you die, I wake up feeling like someone has punched me in the chest and it takes a while to realise you're okay and I'm so glad you're okay because I can't live without you. Watching you die every night because of me makes me appreciate you all the more when I'm awake Fred I can live with it happening to me in my dreams because we got to keep you here in real life," she was barely taking a breath and he sobs were getting closer and closer together. She placed her face in her hands and gave a huge sob. Pulling Fred from his astounded silence. He gently pulled her arms away from her face.

"Look at me - just breathe, okay?" She looked at him and her sobs were subsiding.  
"This isn't fair Hermione. Your dreams are plagued with me, when if it wasn't for you I wouldn't even be here to have my own dreams. I don't want you to watch me die, I want you to think about me living, because of you," he was breathing heavy now, now that he knew the reason for her nightmares he felt responsible. He was still holding onto her arms. He flung them around him pulling her flush against him, cradling her against his chest.  
"I would give up my life if it meant you could rest easy again," she sobbed into his chest and pulled back.  
"Don't say things like that Fred. I love this world with you in it." He smiled at her and cradled her face in his hands, wiping away stray tears with his thumbs.  
"What can I do to make those dreams go away? I will make you a lifetime supply of daydreaming potion, I will stay with you till you fall asleep, I'll hold you all night so you can feel my breath and heartbeat whatever it takes Hermione, I want you to dream about me being alive and happy because of you," her tears had long stopped now but his hands were still clutching her face. He was holding her eyes with his hardened stare, showing her this was not something he was joking about. He face was blank.

"I don't want you to put your life on hold for me Fred. Can't exactly find yourself a pretty girl if you're laying with me every night." She chuckled at her own joke. Fred didn't.  
"I don't want to lay with anybody else," he said quietly. Her breath hitched slightly and Fred saw the hopeful glint in her eye. As far as he was concerned this was his only chance. He moved forward slowly, as if not to startle her, he saw her eyes flutter and he closed the gap quickly, as soon as their lips touched a fire ignited through him, his hands moved, one slipping down to the side of her neck and the other getting lost in her curls. She had responded immediately she had moved her hands to his face and they were kissing furiously at first, the kiss slowed organically, before long they were long, drawn out, lazy kisses.  
"Fred," she said before his kissed again.  
"I don't want you to-" he kissed her again.  
"Do this because-" another kiss.  
"You feel sorry for me." He kissed again and groaned. Moving his lips away from hers and resting his forehead on hers.

"Merlin Hermione, for someone so clever you're not half thick, I'm not kissing you because I feel sorry for you. I'm kissing you because I want to. Because you're gorgeous and funny, you're thoughtful and when you let go a little bit you let yourself be, you're sexy as hell and I've watched you go from a girl who was only confident in her brains to a woman who is started to love herself for exactly who she is. Anyone would fall for you Mione, when they've watched you as closely as I have." She smiled at the speech he had just given her and she kissed him again before pulling away.

"I knew as soon as I kissed Ron that I'd put my time and effort into the wrong brother. I knew I was clinging onto Ron, It was easy, it was what everyone expected of us. But from the moment out lips touched I wished they were yours. I was looking for you, I wasn't even going to tell you I just knew if I saw you my heart would tell me exactly what I needed to do and I came skidding round that corner and I saw you and I was right. I knew. Then I realised it was all about to be taken away from me, only moments after. I knew I had to save you because if I didn't I would have wasted so much time trying not to fall for you because you were the wrong brother, I would have regretted all of it Fred. I had to save you." They sat in the tree for another ten minutes. In silence just holding each other.  
"We should probably get back to the house," he said half-heartedly.  
"They'll be wondering where we've got to." She nodded in agreement and made to move but he stopped her.  
"Wait. Stay with me tonight," she was silent for a second.  
"I'm not expecting anything Mione. I just want to hold you. To try and make the dreams go away," she nodded and kissed him again. They climbed down from the tree and linked their hands together, strolling back towards the burrow. She had a feeling that she might get another good night's sleep.


End file.
